It's all about God's timing

I've been studying the women of the bible with Rachel Olsen this week. I like the way that she's set up the study. We do a different woman every other day and then spend the days in between talking about the woman we're studying. I've wondered about the women of the bible, but as many good books as their are on the subject, I haven't picked one up until recently. And now it's coming in handy as I study these women with Rachel and the others participating.


This week we've studied Eve, Sarah, and Rebekah. These are the first three women that you encounter in the bible, and unfortunately, they all seem to have a common trait -- impatience.

From what I can tell as I read through their stories, these women all had a heart for God. Eve was personally created by God but she was also asked for obedience and promised blessings; Sarah was asked for obedience and promised blessings, and Rebekah was also asked for obedience and promised blessings.

But none of them could wait for God's timing. Eve's circumstances are a bit different from Sarah and Rebekah's. But neither Sarah nor Rebekah could trust that God would fulfill his promises. How often do I jump the gun because I'm impatient to see the fruits of God's promises? Far, far too often.

Duteronomy 11:26-28 promises: See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse- the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known.

If you obey the commands of the Lord you will receive blessings. The curse here is for following other Gods. Think about the gods in today's society: money, drugs, food, sex...all of these are gods that are worshiped by people.

Another piece of scripture: Hebrews 6:11-12 reads: We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

"...imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." God tells us that if we will display patience, he will provide all that he has promised us. But like Sarah and Rebekah, women especially have a hard time waiting for God's timing.

In my personal life, that's waiting for the right relationship. But I have to learn from the mistakes that Sarah and Rebekah made and realize that my mistakes can have farther reaching consequences than just in my own life. For Sarah, the consequences were a bad relationship with her servant Hagar, and even eventual bitterness on her part. For Rebekah, the consequences were setting her two sons against each other.

What we forget as we try to take things into our own hands is that God's timing is perfect, even when it is not our own. In a society that says we should hurry up and do everything or have everything right this moment, practicing patience is even harder. But I have a feeling the rewards will be even greater than anyone could imagine.

Virginity at any age

"...An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how can she please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." -- 1Corinthians 7:34-35

I have been studying 1Corinthians, just trying to get a handle on what God expects from me as a single woman, and eventually as a married woman. I know that countless books have been written on the subjects, but I want to get a feel for what the bible tells me before I delve into any of those other books.

The verse above really stuck out for me today. This is written by Paul, so it's not words directly from Jesus or commands directly from God, but there is plenty of sense to be made from Paul's words.

Looking at just the first part, I see already why the relationship between Bob and I didn't work. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. Ah ha! Now I'm getting a clue.

As long as I was in a physical relationship, my focus was not on my God, even though my relationship was with a Christian man. My focus was on that relationship. Throughout the book of 1Corinthians, Paul teaches that God should be our main focus and that by focusing on God all else will fall into place.

Paul also teaches that it's better to remain single than to marry if you can control your sexual nature. If you cannot, then he says to marry and remain faithful to your spouse.

The rub is, for the relationship with your spouse to work, you must first focus on God. I never understood when people would tell me to put God first in my life, before my children and my spouse and my work. How could you put God first with so many different things in your life demanding your attention?

According to Paul, that's precisely why we should remain out of a relationship. So nothing else is pushing in on our time and devotion to God. But it doesn't always have to be that way. God created us to be partners. Adam was lonely until God created Eve. God never intended for us to live alone.

But before you can be completely involved in a relationship that will stand the tests of Satan, you must be completely focused on God. And developing those habits before you enter into a relationship is the only way to ensure that the habits will remain when that cute new guy steals your heart. The same heart that belongs to Jesus first.

Ultimately, it's about realizing that you can live without anyone, except God. As long as you have God, you have enough. A spouse is a nice bonus, but even when there is no spouse, you can be fulfilled and happy with God's presence in your life.

The peace of complete trust

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not you heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

I did it. After praying for weeks and wishing I wasn't hearing what God was saying, I did it. I asked Bob to move out and told him we can't get married. That happened on Friday. It's been a little nuts since then.

Friday night my best friend took me out. We went and played at a casino for a while and then spent the night there. Saturday I hung out at my parents house, a couple of hours away. But I came home Saturday night. By the time I got here, he was all moved out.

I'm very sad. I love him a lot. And my preference would have been to marry him. And I think that any of the issues that we had could have been worked through. Except the spiritual one. Not seeing eye to eye on the guidelines laid out in the Bible makes it difficult to come together on everything else.

So oddly enough, even though I'm very sad, I have a peace like I haven't known in a long time. I know that I'm going to be lonely. I already miss him terribly. And I know that it's going to be difficult to be a single mom, working from home. Making ends meet means spending a lot more time working than I had to while he was here. And that while still managing a tweenager with a life. But I am not anxious or worried over it.

If you knew me, you'd know that's a huge statement. I always worry. Over everything. I worried myself into a nervous breakdown last Spring. But this time, I'm at peace. I know that God is with me. I know that he'll provide for me. And I know that even if no one else in the world loves me, God does. That's such an amazing feeling for me. Isn't God the most wondrous God?

So now, the real journey beings. While in my heart I hope that God intends for Bob and I to be together, I don't really think that's going to happen. So, I'm going to have to start dating again. Except this time around, dating will be very different than anything I've ever done before. This time, dating is about DATING--and about finding the RIGHT person to spend the rest of my life with--and not about physical relationships.

I wonder how it's going to go? I wonder how guys will react when I tell them there is no physical relationship until after marriage? I wonder how difficult it will be to find a Christian guy that understands my need to put God first in my life...even before my daughter?

It's strange, in a way. I'm almost 40 years old. I've been married. I'm not a virgin (obviously). But now I have to act like one again. How strange will it be to have a relationship that's dependent upon who I am and not the physical stuff? All I can do is trust God, and be thankful for this amazing peace that I feel.