Virginity at any age

"...An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how can she please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." -- 1Corinthians 7:34-35

I have been studying 1Corinthians, just trying to get a handle on what God expects from me as a single woman, and eventually as a married woman. I know that countless books have been written on the subjects, but I want to get a feel for what the bible tells me before I delve into any of those other books.

The verse above really stuck out for me today. This is written by Paul, so it's not words directly from Jesus or commands directly from God, but there is plenty of sense to be made from Paul's words.

Looking at just the first part, I see already why the relationship between Bob and I didn't work. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. Ah ha! Now I'm getting a clue.

As long as I was in a physical relationship, my focus was not on my God, even though my relationship was with a Christian man. My focus was on that relationship. Throughout the book of 1Corinthians, Paul teaches that God should be our main focus and that by focusing on God all else will fall into place.

Paul also teaches that it's better to remain single than to marry if you can control your sexual nature. If you cannot, then he says to marry and remain faithful to your spouse.

The rub is, for the relationship with your spouse to work, you must first focus on God. I never understood when people would tell me to put God first in my life, before my children and my spouse and my work. How could you put God first with so many different things in your life demanding your attention?

According to Paul, that's precisely why we should remain out of a relationship. So nothing else is pushing in on our time and devotion to God. But it doesn't always have to be that way. God created us to be partners. Adam was lonely until God created Eve. God never intended for us to live alone.

But before you can be completely involved in a relationship that will stand the tests of Satan, you must be completely focused on God. And developing those habits before you enter into a relationship is the only way to ensure that the habits will remain when that cute new guy steals your heart. The same heart that belongs to Jesus first.

Ultimately, it's about realizing that you can live without anyone, except God. As long as you have God, you have enough. A spouse is a nice bonus, but even when there is no spouse, you can be fulfilled and happy with God's presence in your life.