Hi! Welcome to Virgin Again, a blog about one Christian's struggle to live as God would have her live in a sexually driven culture. Let's face it, being a virgin in these times is not a popular position. And being a divorced 30-something virgin is even harder. Not impossible, but sometimes it feels that way.
Here's a little background about me: I am a Christian. I'm 30-something. And I've been divorced--not once, but twice. The most recent divorce was after 13 years of marriage, and it happened about four years ago.
About being a Christian: I first became a Christian when I was 13. At the time, I had the strength of a new Christian and despite what people said of me, I tried to live by my beliefs. But eventually, the world came between God and I, and I spent most of two decades running from my Christian self, trying to fit in as an 'ordinary' person. About six years ago, I realized ordinary wasn't cutting it. And just after my divorce, I returned to the church. I now attend regularly.
But attending church doesn't make you a Christian. Behaving as God would have you behave is. And that's where I'm struggling now. I want desperately to be the person God wants me to be. But my life isn't what one would look at and immediately consider Christian.
I live with a guy that also claims to be Christian. He and I are engaged to be married. But we see the guidance in the bible in a very different light. Going into all of the details today would make this post far too long, so let me just say that he thinks it's okay to have sex outside of marriage if you love someone because in God's eyes you're already married. I don't. In fact, if I am honest, this verse has been on my mind for months:
"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, siddention, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."So I struggle. And after months of struggling, I've finally decided that not only can I live with this guy, but I can't marry him either. What I have to do for myself and for God is to find a person who loves me, for who I am, without the sex. I have to be a virgin again. Can you reclaim your virginity? Physically, no. But spiritually, I believe you can. And I'm going to chronicle my struggles here. Join me. Share your experiences. And above all, praise God!
3 comments:
Dear Jae,
I'm glad you honor God with your life.
"But attending church doesn't make you a Christian. Behaving as God would have you behave is." -Jae
The former being true. I say it like this being in church every Sunday doesn't make you a Christian just like sitting in a garage won't make you a car.
However, "doing" things won't make you a Christian either. I assume you know this, but just to clarify it. "by HIS DOING are you in Christ Jesus"[1 Corinthians 1:30]
I would like you to read this article: If you are the son of God...
God bless you,
Sidharth
Hmm, I want you to consider this from the Word of God....about divorce and re-marriage.
Sidharth
Sidharth,
Thank you for both posts. The article you pointed me to is excellent. Thanks for putting it together and linking it for me. I believe the point of the article is exactly what I'm trying to accomplish...to live as a son (or daughter) of God would live. I DO believe that only through Christ's sacrifice for us and our faith in that truth are we ever going to get to share eternity with God. But I also believe that as a Christian, God has expectations of us, and it's in living up to those expectations that we express our belief and faith in the sacrifice Christ made.
On the subject of divorce...I have considered it at length and spent much time in prayer, as well as discussion with my pastor and Christian counselors. I believe that I'm forgiven for those relationships. I'm still not clear on how God would have me move forward, but I am at peace with the past.
Thanks again! Your input is so valuable to me.
In Him,
Jerri
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